"You’ve been paid for by people who never even saw your face. Your mother’s mother, your father’s father. And so it behooves you to prepare yourself so you can pay for someone else yet to come. Whose name you’ll never know. You just keep the good thing going."
— Maya Angelou
The official trailer for Eat With Me — it looks amazing.
To paraphrase the great John Oliver, listen up, fellow self-pitying nerd boys—we are not the victims here. We are not the underdogs. We are not the ones who have our ownership over our bodies and our emotions stepped on constantly by other people’s entitlement. We’re not the ones where one out of six of us will have someone violently attempt to take control of our bodies in our lifetimes.
We are not Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds, we are not Steve Urkel from Family Matters, we are not Preston Myers from Can’t Hardly Wait, we are not Seth Rogen in every movie Seth Rogen has ever been in, we are not fucking Mario racing to the castle to beat Bowser because we know there’s a princess in there waiting for us.
We are not the lovable nerdy protagonist who’s lovable because he’s the protagonist. We’re not guaranteed to get laid by the hot chick of our dreams as long as we work hard enough at it. There isn’t a team of writers or a studio audience pulling for us to triumph by “getting the girl” in the end. And when our clever ruses and schemes to “get girls” fail, it’s not because the girls are too stupid or too bitchy or too shallow to play by those unwritten rules we’ve absorbed.
It’s because other people’s bodies and other people’s love are not something that can be taken nor even something that can be earned—they can be given freely, by choice, or not."
Gandalf meets some guy who claimed to be Gandalf in some movie or something.
This is what “pushy” and “bossy” really mean (cartoons by the inimitable Ann Telnaes)
My favorite Ann Telnaes cartoon so far this year.
Trigger warning: gun violence, violence against women.
Another mass shooting occurred, this time, near the campus of University of California Santa Barbara, where I have presented two sexuality education workshops in the past. 6 people have been killed.
The day before the mass murders, the alleged killer posted a video to YouTube explaining his explicit plans for the attack, and his motivations. I made the mistake of watching it. And now I’m upset and disturbed.
In sum, he planned to enter the “hottest sorority house” on campus and would delight in “slaughtering” and “annihilating” every “spoiled, stuck-up blond slut” there. He went on a 6+ minute diatribe about how it has come to this because all these women don’t understand what a nice “gentleman” he is, and wouldn’t have sex with him, instead choosing to have sexual relationships with “brutes”. He laments that “everybody” gets to experience “sex and fun and pleasure” during college, and he didn’t. And now he’s a 22 year old virgin because no “girls” would have sex with him. He called this “unfair” and “a crime that can never be forgiven”. He described the “river of blood” which would be retribution against women for this “crime”.
"For the last eight years of my life, ever since I hit puberty, I have been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires, all because girls have never been attracted to me. I will punish all of you for it", he said.
And now 6 people are dead- DEAD, life gone, and 7 more injured, because Elliot Rodger, allegedly, felt entitled to access women’s bodies and when he was denied, he felt entitled to murder them.
Already the news media is taking this tragic story in directions that are missing the biggest piece- misogyny and sexual entitlement.
Dear News Media,
Don’t gloss over that:
1. This was a hate crime. This was an act of violence committed against victims that were were, or were sympathetic to, a group of people (in this case, women) in which the motivation for the violence was simply that they were a part of that group. That’s a hate crime. A gender based hate crime.
2. Many men are socialized young to believe they are owed sex and attention from women. They are led to believe that if they are nice, or a gentleman, or do favors, or are a “nice guy”, that this entitles them to sex. The whole idea of “friendzoning” and the indignation around the fear of being an attentive and good friend to a woman and not being rewarded with vagina in return (as if the only thing worthwhile about companionship with another human being is whether or not you get laid as a result), is indicative of this dehumanizing socialization that can lead to extreme and horrifying outcomes like this.
These are messy, complex, and uncomfortable discussion points but PLEASE PLEASE don’t gloss over them. If you need a pundit, use me, or I can recommend other experts on this topic, but either way, don’t ignore this issue which is so central to the heartbreaking murder of these people.
Also have important conversations about mental health care and gun control, but don’t forget the crucial piece on gender based hate crime and sexual entitlement.
Children like Sabina, who didn’t have months or a year, and died while waiting for the treatment that may have helped her. On Thursday, Paula Joana joined Hardball where she explained the struggle to treat her daughter. “For pediatrics, you have to get a letter from your pediatrician, then you have to get a letter from a specialist–so we got one from her neurologist. Then we had to see a psychiatrist to make sure we weren’t exploiting her and her medical marijuana.”
Joana added, “I don’t understand anyone who wanted to smoke pot recreationally would go through all those hurdles just to smoke pot.”
Last November, a bill was put before New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie that would permit patients to receive medicinal marijuana from states with more developed medicine and less regulated programs. But Christie refused to sign it.
“See, this is what happens,” Christie said at a Dec. 2, 2013 press conference where he infamously joked about “[working] the cones” on the George Washington Bridge. “Every time you sign one expansion, then the advocates will come back and ask for another one. Here’s what the advocates want: They want legalization of marijuana in New Jersey. It will not happen on my watch, ever. I am done expanding the medical marijuana program under any circumstances. So we’re done.”
On that same day, and in the same hour Christie gave those remarks, Sabina Rose took her last breath.
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."
— Marie Curie
(GIF: Sarah Coffey / NBC News)
The cat who saved a California toddler from a neighborhood dog threw out the ceremonial first pitch — well, sort of — at a minor league baseball game Tuesday.
Cats aren’t very good baseball players.
Jimmy took an audience member’s suggestion to install 'Big Mouth Lance Bass' and the results are priceless!